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Advice and admonishment

  • Link to Loquaciousness: Only speak for Allah's sake, following the principles of commanding good and forbidding evil.
  • Link to Commanding good and forbidding evil:
    • Forbid evil by following this order:
      • First, explain the offensive nature of the act.
      • Second, admonish the person politely in a gentle manner (motivation).
      • Third, harshly reprimand him.
      • Fourth, forcibly stop the wrong.
      • Fifth, threaten or hit the person to stop the offense.
    • Only address clearly forbidden/obligatory acts that you are knowledgeable about.
    • Stop at the second level for rulers and the fourth level for the spouse and family members.
    • When it comes to commanding good, encourage good behavior through da'wah, even by sharing a single verse of the Quran.
  • Link to Managing spouse:
    • For the wife specifically, discipline her if she's rebellious through the first four levels. Then don't bed her, then be rough (but not in the face and don't leave a mark), then diplomacy through another person, then divorce.
    • Do not taunt or bring up the past when your spouse becomes obedient.
    • Ensure they understand their own religious obligations.
  • Link to Parenting: play (0-7), discipline (7-14), befriend (14+)
    • When your child deliberately misbehaves, talk to him privately without labeling him (focus on the actions), by following the levels and use consequences instead of punishments (ex. spilling means cleaning)
    • If the misbehavior is religious in nature, encourage them to seek forgiveness from Allah.
summary

Instruct only for Allah's sake, using appropriate levels of persuasion and force, and discipline family members according to their rebellion level.